Talking About Adoption

One of the most important issues in bringing an adopted child into your family is learning how to help that child and those around you understand that ADOPTION IS AN ACT OF LOVE.  If you can approach adoption with a clear and comfortable understanding of your own personal feelings you will have a much easier time explaining it to your child and to others.  Questions like "When is the right time to start talking to him or her?" "What's the right thing to say?" "How will I know it is the right time?" are very likely thoughts we all have had.  Please don't be afraid.  The more comfortable and open you are with adoption, the more willing your children will be to sharing their thoughts and feelings.  While you are waiting to be linked with a birth mother, please begin reading and feeling more comfortable talking about adoption.  Just like there is no best time (except for as soon as possible) there is no one best way except to be open and honest and never lie or mislead your child.

There are several books and articles written on the subject that will help you get started with your conversations:

Using Books to Open the Adoption Dialog - Jane Brown

Opening the Dialog - S.M. Macrae

Parenting with Narratives: The A, B, C's of Adoption Stories - Jean Macleod

The Backwards Lifebook - Joy Rees

Before You Were Mine: Discovering Your Adopted Child's Lifestory - Susan Tebos (AAI adoptive mom) and Carissa Woodwyk

Adoption Lifebook Do's and Don't - Beth O'Malley

Lifestory Work: The Next Level - Beth O'Malley

My Experiences with Lifebooks - Carrie Kitze

The Baby Lifebook

MAY miracles!

In May we acknowledge the many ways that babies are joined with their families

Birth mother chooses a family from profiles about two months before she gave birth in March.  Birth mother relinquished in court in May.  Baby was home with family through temporary placement.  All paperwork is completed in May.

Birth mother calls from the hospital that she had given birth to a healthy baby and had found a family that she wanted to place her baby with.  AAI stepped in to facilitate the placement, which occurred in May. 

Birth mother relinquishes her baby boy through the Safe Delivery of Newborns Law in March...one happy family was able to meet their new bundle the next day. Court proceedings were completed in May.

After a couple of months of counseling with an AAI caseworker, the birth mother was coincidentally introduced to an AAI family through a friend and, therefore, a designated placement occurred this month.

A family called AAI in April to say that they had connected with a birth mother due in three weeks.  AAI completed the home study and the birth mother counseling; resulting in a completed placement with a relinquishment hearing in May.

Birth mother contacted AAI three weeks before her due, selected a family from profiles; however delivered early.  The birth mother and adoptive family met for the first time on the labor and delivery unit and found an instant connection - the birth of their baby.  Both birth mother and adoptive family signed paperwork in May making it official.

A hospital social worker called on behalf of a young woman who had just given birth and wanted to learn more about adoption.  AAI caseworker went to meet with her and presented profiles.  A match was made and the court proceedings were handled in May.

Relinquishment and adoption comes in many shapes and sizes.  We praise our God who weaves each story together in a beautiful way!