Friday, June 11, 2010

Talking About Adoption

One of the most important issues in bringing an adopted child into your family is learning how to help that child and those around you understand that ADOPTION IS AN ACT OF LOVE.  If you can approach adoption with a clear and comfortable understanding of your own personal feelings you will have a much easier time explaining it to your child and to others.  Questions like "When is the right time to start talking to him or her?" "What's the right thing to say?" "How will I know it is the right time?" are very likely thoughts we all have had.  Please don't be afraid.  The more comfortable and open you are with adoption, the more willing your children will be to sharing their thoughts and feelings.  While you are waiting to be linked with a birth mother, please begin reading and feeling more comfortable talking about adoption.  Just like there is no best time (except for as soon as possible) there is no one best way except to be open and honest and never lie or mislead your child.

There are several books and articles written on the subject that will help you get started with your conversations:

Using Books to Open the Adoption Dialog - Jane Brown
Opening the Dialog - S.M. Macrae
Parenting with Narratives: The A, B, C's of Adoption Stories - Jean Macleod
The Backwards Lifebook - Joy Rees
Before You Were Mine: Discovering Your Adopted Child's Lifestory - Susan Tebos (AAI adoptive mom) and Carissa Woodwyk
Adoption Lifebook Do's and Don't - Beth O'Malley
Lifestory Work: The Next Level - Beth O'Malley
My Experiences with Lifebooks - Carrie Kitze
The Baby Lifebook