Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Been In Your Shoes

I don't know how long you've been waiting, but I know that every day can be hard.  I remember thinking that every month that we waited felt like another failed fertility treatment.  There were days when we wanted to give up, but that just wasn't an option.  We were in the waiting families pool and it wasn't like we were going to back out.  This is the good news.  Even when you feel hopeless, the agency is out there working for you and supporting you.  And the even better news is God is creating your story while you wait.

When I was trying to stay hopeful I would think to myself, "When our time comes, it's going to be a greater experience than giving birth because we've waited so long!  We'll appreciate everything more."  I would also try to do everything that would be hard to do once we had a child.  This included going on vacations, going to dinner with friends, reading, playing the piano, volunteering at church, exercising, taking art classes, etc.

We did a few things to 'help our cause'.  We sent a note with our Christmas letter letting everyone know that we were interested in adoption.  We sent emails.  We talked about it to anyone who would listen.  We sent letters to friends' churches.  While we were waiting this made us feel like we were doing everything we could.  It gave us hope.

But there is something MAJOR that I didn't know at the time.  Sometimes birth mothers don't plan ahead.  She may decide at the last minute to make an adoption plan.  When this happens, sometimes birth mothers ask Adoption Associates, Inc. to pick a family for them.  The agency will often pick families that have been waiting the longest.  That was us!  Imagine that - we were picked because we waited so long.  It was even better this way because when we got our call our baby was already born!  The waiting was over!  

I always hated people giving me their advice, but this is what I was given the opportunity to do. So, my main advice, annoying as it may be, is to pray!  Pray for the right baby at the right time.  I remember rolling my eyes when people said it to me, but that prayer was answered for us. Please remember that unlike fertility treatments, adoption WILL happen.  You just need to wait and see when your miracle will arrive.  It WILL!  The agency will help you every step of the way.  And, just picture God smiling as he writes the story of how your family began.

Peace and hope to you,

Previous waiting prospective parent; now mommy